CCCCC

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  CHRIS ROCK:
 <i>For as long as I can remember,</i>

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<i>music was a part of my life</i>

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  <i>And in 1986, the biggest act</i>
   <i>in the world was Run-DMC.</i>

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  What you listening
to, young blood?

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  Young blood...

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  what you listening to?

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   Run-DMC.

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What kind of name
is "Run"?

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Ain't that a verb,
ever

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Going to that concert?

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 I wish.
  It's sold out.

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I've got a guy that's gonna give
   me two tickets tomorrow.

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They're yours for $200.

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   <i>I don't have $200.</i>

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I'll take 'em.

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Okay, I'll have them
   tomorrow at 6:00.

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And I'm gonna need cash.

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Now I don't take
  check, credit,

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  pesos, rubles,

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00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:55,200
 wampums, ducats
 or wherewithal.

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No problem

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<i>As long as you can also</i>
 <i>loan me $200.</i>

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Hey, everybody.

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   Hey, what's going on?
Hey.

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Manny,do you mind if I
   leave these here?

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What is it?

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   Applications for
  my BFD Scholarship.

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BFD?

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Black Funeral Directors.

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 What I was thinking
 wasn't even close.

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You, too, right?

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So if you know of any young men

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who would like to learn about
   the wonderful world of death,

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this scholarship
  is worth $250.

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 <i>Sounds like ticket money to me.</i>

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I'm interested.

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   <i>Interested in free money.</i>

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  Oh, I didn't know
  you were interested
in the bereaved and deceased.

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    <i>I'm not.</i>

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 This is a lot easier
  than I thought it would be.

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 <i>I was thinking</i>
 <i>the exact same thing.</i>

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All you have to do
is sign right here

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and you're the new
BFD scholar.

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 Good.

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 Now when do I
 get the money?

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Oh, as soon as you're
done with the program.

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Will I be done with the program
 by tomorrow at 6:00?

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  Oh, it's gonna take
   longer than that

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 to learn all you need to know
 about death.

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 <i>No, it's not, because right now</i>
   <i>I'm having a heart attack.</i>

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<font color="#ffff00">Everybody Hates Chris S03E16</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">www.1000fr.com presents</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Capture:FRM@Evelyn~zx
Sync:FRS@Will</font>

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While i am waiting for my scholarship money,

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<i>I was researching other ways</i>
   <i>to get some cash.</i>

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Give you an advance on your pay?

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Yeah, and I'll pay you back soon
as I get my scholarship money.

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That sounds like
a good plan.


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   But what happens
  if you get killed?

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I haven't thought
about that.

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 Ain't that nothing.

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You learning about death

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  and ain't even
thought about dying.

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Death can happen
 at any moment, son.

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   It can happen
  when you're happy,

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when you're sad, or when
 you owe somebody money.

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    <i>Translation: no.</i>

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<i>While I was hurting for cash,</i>
 <i>my mother was in pain.</i>

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So the chart says you
  got pain in your shoulder.

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How did you do this?

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00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:08,000
I was reaching for something
and I must've overextended.

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 <i>That's one way of putting it.</i>

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Boy, didn't I tell you
about throwing that ball?!

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 Mama, I didn't mean
 to break it, I'm sorry.

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Oh, your behind
gonna be sorry.

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Went too far back on
the wind-up, didn't you?

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Yeah!
You know that boy
broke a $60 lamp

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when I told him do not
throw a ball in the house.

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Next time, just stretch first.

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Stretch?

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 <i>Nothing helps you give better</i>
  <i>ass whuppings than yoga.</i>

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It's part of the
   proper technique.

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 There are various techniques
that you can use to avoid injury

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while delivering
   an ass whupping.

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00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:43,500
 There's the Two-Cheek Cross,
 the Roundhouse Booty Buster,

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or my personal favorite:
the Kunta Kinte Will Breaker. 

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00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,900
 In the wrong hands, a beating
  can be called child abuse.

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But in the right hands,
  it could be the difference

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between raising
a Bill Gates or a Bobby Brown.

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 Read this.

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If you rest your arm
  in a sling forHDeek,

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 you'll be fine.

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A week?
I can't rest for a week.

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I goto cook and clean.
You're hurt.

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  Make those kids do it.

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???

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00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,200
 <i>My mother had a sling,</i>

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<i>while my father had ch-ching.</i>

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What's this?

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I've got a fun project
for you.

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  <i>My father was famous</i>
 <i>for his fun projects.</i>

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JULIUS:
Isn't this fun?

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What is this
stuff anyway?

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Asbestos.
We're gonna save a lot of money on heat this year.

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I need you to roll
these quarters.

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40 in each roll.

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You think you can
handle that, baby?

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  Okay, Daddy.
That's my girl.

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 <i>I had a hundred dollars saved,</i>
   <i>and I had to get the rest</i>

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  <i>or my chance to see Run-DMC</i>
 <i>was gonna be G-O-N-E.</i>

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 So, Dad, can I borrow
   a hundred dollars
until my scholarship money
   arrives?

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   That depends.
Can I borrow it back
  two seconds later?

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For what?

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Books.

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Mr. Omar gave you a scholarship.

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What, he can't give you
  the books?

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I get $250.

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They got any more
   scholarships around here?

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I don't know.

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<i>The Future Crackheads</i>
   <i>of America</i>
<i>had a scholarship,</i>

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 <i>but they used that up</i>
    <i>on Flavor Flav.</i>

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I guess it's
   for a good cause.

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  Turn around so I can get the ney.

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Okay

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 <i>I never did find out where my</i>
 <i>father kept his secret stash.</i>

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Here you go.

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 Thanks, Dad.

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  Thank you.

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    <i>My father held onto cash</i>
   <i>so tight,</i>

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   <i>George Washington</i>
   <i>couldn't breathe.</i>

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39...

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40.

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   <i>According to math,</i>
 <i>the roll was perfect.</i>

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    <i>But according to Tanya,</i>

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   <i>39 quarters looked</i>
 <i>a lot neater than 40.</i>

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That's better.

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We're going to
incredible.the Run-DMC concert.

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Dude This is invredible.

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I promise I'll pay you bac
  ten dollars a week.

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This is the best thing
anyone's ever done for me

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00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:01,900
since my mom took me back
from the foster home.

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  Well, we couldn't miss the
   greatest concert of the year.

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Where'd you get the money?

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  Oh, my dad
 loaned it to me

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  and I'm gonna pay him back
  with my scholarship money.

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What scholarship?

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BFD.

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Never heard of
that one before.

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00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,000
But I'm guessing
acronyms today--

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Black Funeral Directors.

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  Yeah, u have
  a scholarship?

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Yeah, I've got four:

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Future Physicists,
Future Pharmacists,

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Future Futurists,
and Sons of Izzo.

155
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:22,000
 Who's Izzo?

156
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It's an Italian thing,
you wouldn't understand.

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Oh.

158
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So you want to be
a funeral director?

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 No, I just want
 to see Run-DMC.

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  <i>Duh!</i>

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 <i>My mother was</i>
  <i>about to win an Emmy?????</i>

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 Yeah, get the pillow.

163
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Now I wish I wasn't hurt,

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but I am.

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 So I'm gonna need you two to
pick up the slack around here, okay?

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What do we have to do?

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Not a lot.

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All of this?!

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  Now you can appreciate all
the hard work I do around here.

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Drew, go get
my turtles.

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00:06:57,900 --> 00:07:00,700
Tonya put my feet up.
You know my ankles swell.

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Pass me the remote.

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Move out the way.
You're blockthe TV.

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Now that's what
I'm talking about.

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  Come on here, girl.

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You can do it, sister.

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Come on, joker...!
Come on, joker!

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00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:18,200
 Yes!

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 <i>You should've seen her</i>
 <i>when she watched</i> Card Sharks.

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  <i>Now that I was going</i>
to the show,

181
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  <i>I couldn't wait for Mr. Omar</i>
 <i>to show me the money.</i>

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Hey, Mr. Omar,
I was just wondering
what I needed to do

183
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,100
to finish up
my scholarship work.

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00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,800
Oh, I appreciate your
  enthusiasm, Chris.

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00:07:34,900 --> 00:07:37,300
  As you know, death doesn't
wait, so come on in.

186
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:40,500
 I'm just finishing up
my preparation
for the death Jubilee.

187
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:41,500
Sweep that up.

188
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:42,600
  ath Jubilee?

189
00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:44,800
Oh, it's only the biggest
event of the year.

190
00:07:44,900 --> 00:07:46,100
It's like the auto show.

191
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,400
 <i>If you drive a hearse.</i>

192
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,600
Now, look, I need you
to collate these,

193
00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:52,700
fold these,
take both of them,
te
slide th into here, okay?

194
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,200
I need you to iron that shirt,
 take the suit to the cleaners,

195
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,400
shine my shoes,

196
00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:57,900
get me a paper
on the corner...

197
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,200
I got a lotta more stuff for you
 to do later.

198
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:02,800
 Oh, the Death Jubilee
 is all day tomorrow,

199
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:03,600
so get your rest.

200
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:05,400
  <i>You mean get</i>
  <i>your rest in peace.</i>

201
00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:06,700
Now when you think I'll be done?

202
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,500
Oh, you should be done
  by Tuesday.

203
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,600
 Tuesday? But I have somewhere
   to go on Monday.

204
00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:12,200
Go on Tuesday.
I can't.

205
00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:13,500
Tragic.

206
00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:16,100
 <i>Not as tragic</i>
<i>as missing Run-DMC.</i>

207
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:21,800
 At the Death Jubilee,

208
00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:24,200
<i>I was beginning to realize</i>
  <i>that the BFD</i>

209
00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:25,900
<i>was a bunch of BS.</i>

210
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,400
Hey, Omar,
 the scholarship idea? Genius.

211
00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:32,200
 Hey, I could never afford to
come to this convention before

212
00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:33,800
'cause it cost so much for help.

213
00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:35,000
But you call it a scholarship

214
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:37,200
and you get help
 for less than half the price.

215
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,900
Hey, did you guys see the women
over in the bereavement hall?

216
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:42,800
If you thought
 last year was good,

217
00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:44,300
this year is ridiculous.

218
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:45,600
Oh, you think
that's ridiculous?

219
00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:47,700
 Did you see the girl
standing by the hearse?

220
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:48,900
  Now she's bad for business.

221
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,800
   Who's gonna die with her
   standing around.

222
00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:52,800
Oh, my God.

223
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:54,600
 You know Mrs. Eisenberg?

224
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:55,400
She called me.

225
00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:57,900
Mrs. Eisenberg,
Mrs. Eisenberg?
  Yeah.

226
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,200
You're kidding.
I'm not kidding you. We went out.

227
00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:01,400
She's a firecracker.

228
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,000
Almost gave me a heart attack.

229
00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:04,500
I told you not to mess with her.

230
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,600
Well, her husband was
 on bed rest for a year.

231

00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:07,400
What can you expect?

232
00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:08,900
 I didn't expect that.

233
00:09:10,700 --> 00:09:12,000
Hey????

234
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:14,700
Oh Mr Omar, 

235
00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:17,300
I'm done.
What do you want me to do with this?

236
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:21,300
Oh.
Right... here.

237
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:26,200
You know, you might have
a future in this after all.

238
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:28,800
 <i>Back at home, my mother found</i>
  <i>that taking it easy</i>

239
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:30,900
<i>was gonna be harder</i>
   <i>than she thought.</i>

240
00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:35,500
Hey, Mom, how do you fold this?

241
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,100
<i>With your hands, dummy.</i>

242
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:45,200
Hey, Mom,

243
00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:47,900
can you clean burnt
spaghetti sauce with bleach?

244
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,400
<i>If you want to die.</i>

245
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:52,600
Mom!,

246
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:55,800
Mom...!

247
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:57,200
Mom..!

248
00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:58,600
Mom!

249
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,600
 <i>While my mother's legs</i>
 <i>were getting stronger,</i>

250
00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:04,500
<i>Mr. Omar's little black book</i>
  <i>was getting fatter.</i>

251
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,500
Oh, thank you so much
for stopping by.

252
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,600
Now you be sure
and call me now, okay?

253
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:21,300
  All right?

254
00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:27,500
Hey.

255
00:10:27,900 --> 00:10:29,600
Oh, did you pass out
  the pamphlets?

256
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:30,600
 Yeah...

257
00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:32,500
Only to the pretty ones?
Yeah.

258
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,300
So, you're supposed to be
telling me about your business?

259
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:36,600
What you want to know?

260
00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:39,600
Well, what made you want
   to work with dead people?

261
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,200
You see, there's something
you need to know
about the funeral business.

262
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:44,500
It's not about servicing
the dead.

263
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,400
It's about comforting
the living.

264
00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:50,400
And some
of the living need
a little more comforting
than others.

265
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:52,500
 Go out to the truck,
get us some pamphlets.
I'll be right back.

266
00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:57,000
Toast?

267
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:58,800
Toast for dinner?

268
00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:03,000
Tonya can't cook
and it's the best that I could do the condition that i am in

269
00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:05,800
 <i>She's using most of her energy</i>
   <i>faking being hurt.</i>

270
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:08,800
Thank you.

271
00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:11,400
Chris, why don't you
  pass the toast around?

272
00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:13,400
  See? I got wheat toast

273
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:16,100
and white toast and raisin and

274
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,700
crust and crustless.

275
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,000
<i>No pumpernickel?</i>

276
00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:23,100
  Mommy also has grape jelly,
strawberry jelly, hot sauce...

277
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:24,900
   <i>Hot sauce?</i><i>Hot Sauce?</i>
...cinnamon,

278
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,400
  ...honey and syrup
 to dip your crust in.

279
00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:28,700
  Hot sauce?

280
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:31,700
 Um, did you finish up
 those quarters like I asked?

281
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,200
Yep, ten rolls.

282
00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:34,200
Good girl.

283
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,000
  Hey, Chris, can you pass me
the hot sauce?

284
00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:37,200
<i>Hot sauce?</i>

285
00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:39,300
So Chris, how was your day?

286
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,800
Did you learn anything
  about the funeral business?

287
00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:42,900
????

288
00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:44,500
Yeah, I bet it is.

289
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:45,700
You enjoying those books?

290
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,400
 Yeah, they're great.

291
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,600
Pass me the big piece
of toast.

292
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,500
Honey, howuch longer
R@  you gonna be in that sling?

293
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:55,900
   <i>Until we run out of bread.</i>

294
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,300
   I don't know,
 Julius.

295
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,600
 As soon as I'm healed
 and fully recovered,

296
00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:00,800
I'll let you know.

297
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,300
<i>While my mother was milking</i>
  <i>her injury,</i>

298
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:06,800
  <i>I was being trained.</i>

299
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:10,000
First, I must say
you're really doing
a great job.

300
00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:11,400
Well, what do I have
to do today?

301
00:12:11,900 --> 00:12:14,000
Ah, just polish
a few coffins.

302
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,700
A few?

303
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:16,800
 How long is this gonna take?

304
00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:17,800
 I don't know.

305
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:20,200
 Well, you think I'll be done
  by tomorrow night?

306
00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:21,900
Because I have somewhere to go
  and it's really important.

307
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:25,800
Chris, there's nothing
more important
than fulfilling
  your responsibilities.

308
00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:28,600
That's what this scholarship
  is all about: service.

309
00:12:28,700 --> 00:12:29,700
So do your best.

310
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:32,400
If you get it done,
tomorrow you can do
  whatever you want.

311
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:35,100
Okay, well, how clean
do they have to be?

312
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:38,400
Well, I need you
   to make these

313
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:41,900
 look like this,

314
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:42,800
all right?

315
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:44,800
So do your best.

316
00:12:44,900 --> 00:12:48,200
 I'll see you later.
Lock up after you leave.
You are the best.

317
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:56,600
<i>By the time I finished</i>
    <i>cleaning those coffins,</i>

318
00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:57,900
  <i>I almost needed one,</i>

319
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,100
<i>but it was worth it</i>

320
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:02,800
  <i>because come tomorrow, I was</i>
 <i>gonna have the time of my life.</i>

321
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,400
What time do you
want to meet and go to the en?

322
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,500
You know what You go without me
and I'll meet you down there.

323
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:07,500
What?

324
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,800
I have to go by
the funeral parlor after school

325
00:13:09,900 --> 00:13:12,100
to make sure there's nothing
Mr. Omar wants me to do.

326
00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:15,300
I don't want
to have him think ther's any reason to not give me the money

327
00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:17,300
I don't know
tookyo

328
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,300
Did have $200
for concert tickets?

329
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,300
No. Here.

330
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,500
????
l see you at 7:30 

331
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:24,100
All right.

332
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:28,400
 <i>For my father,</i>
<i>coin-cashing day was better</i>
    <i>than Christmas morning.</i>

333
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,300
$97.50.

334
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:31,600
No, that can't be right.

335
00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:33,200
I know I had
a hundred dollars here.

336
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:34,700
Did you count it?
 No.

337
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,600
 Well, I did.
It was $97.50.

338
00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:37,700
Well, maybe you made a mistake.

339
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:39,000
No, maybe you made
a mistake.

340
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:42,000
   You think you're
   the first person
try to skim a few quarters past us?

341
00:13:42,100 --> 00:13:44,300
<i>Actually, he was</i>
  <i>the first person to try it,</i>

342
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,100
 <i>but that was a long time ago.</i>

343
00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:51,100
  <i>Back at Mr. Omar's,</i>
  <i>it was almost quitting time</i>

344
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,900
  <i>and I was three minutes away</i>
 <i>from Run-DMC.</i>

345
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,900
   Hey, Greg. Yeah.

346
00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:57,200
  So we're still good, right?

347
00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,200
   Oh, okay.

348
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,000
 No, all I have to do
  is lock up.

349
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,100
I'm out of here
in, like, two minutes.

350
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,400
So I'll meet you at the Garden?

351
00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:07,400
   All right, cool.

352
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:14,000
 <i>I had finished all my dealings</i>
   <i>with death</i>
<i>and now it was time to get ill.</i>

353
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,700
Excuse me.
Can you help me?

354
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:24,200
 <i>I can... but I don't want to.</i>

355
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:29,700
  Sorry.

356
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,000
I was just locking up,

357
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:32,700
but I'm sure Mr. Omar could talk
to you in the morning.

358
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,200
  Oh, it'll only
  take a minute.

359
00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:35,800
You see,
   my husband passed

360
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:38,300
and Mr. Omar wanted me
  to bring a tie

361
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:39,600
to go with the outfit,

362
00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:42,000
and I just can't decide.

363
00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:43,000
What do you think?

364
00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:44,500
Blue or green?

365
00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:45,800
Green.

366
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:48,800
Oh, yeah, green.

367
00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:50,100
 Leonard liked green.

368
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:50,900
Okay.

369
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,200
Well, I'm gonna give this
  to Mr. Omar in the morning,

370
00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:54,500
but we can  leave.

371
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:55,500
Yeah.

372
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,900
Maybe blue would be better.

373
00:14:58,300 --> 00:15:00,200
He was an executive,

374
00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:01,000
 Okay.

375
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:03,000
Blue it is.

376
00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:07,800
Noyou're right. Green.

377
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:09,700
Now tell me,

378
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:13,100
 do you think
  I should get socks
to match the tie?

379
00:15:13,700 --> 00:15:15,000
 <i>This will only take a minute...</i>

380
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:16,900
  <i>in old people time.</i>

381
00:15:19,900 --> 00:15:21,200
 That's perfect.

382
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:24,300
You remind me
 of him, you know?

383
00:15:24,900 --> 00:15:29,200
He used to have that same look
  you have right now.

384
00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:30,400
<i>Frustration?</i>

385
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,300
You keep looking
at the clock.

386
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,100
 Is there someplace
 you supposed to be?

387
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,100
Yeah, I'm supposed
to be meeting a friend.

388
00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:39,900
Oh, that's nice.

389
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,600
I don't mean to hold you up.

390
00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:42,700
<i>Then let me go.</i>

391
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,700
Leonard had friends now.

392
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:47,000
Yes, there was Earl,

393
00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:50,700
Louis, Zeke, Sonny.

394
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,200
Sonny had one eye

395
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:57,100
and he got
into a fight with Chester Jenki

396
00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,900
He love watching sitcom,

397
00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:02,400
especially <i>Sanford & Son.</i>

398
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,900
He loved
  <i>Sanford & Son.</i>

399
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,700
I'm coming, Elizabeth!

400
00:16:10,300 --> 00:16:12,200
This man could cook.

401
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:14,300
 You talk about fried chicken?

402
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,000
His chicken was so good,

403
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:18,900
chickens be at the table
   talking.

404
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,600
"Whoa, this some good chicken.

405
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,600
Bend it down.
Bend it down. Come on.

406
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,300
Ooh, you good.

407
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,300
You good, but you're
not as good as Leonard.

408
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,500
Ow! Stop!

409
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:35,900
 <i>I was missing Run-DMC,</i>

410
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,400
<i>but my father was really</i>
 <i>missing his quarters.</i>

411
00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:40,300
Shouldn't you be
  at work, baby?

412
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:44,100
Rachelle, I think
Tonya may have stolen
from me.

413
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,200
What?!

414
00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:46,800
I went to the bank

415
00:16:46,900 --> 00:16:49,700
and the quarters I had her
roll up for me came up short.

416
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:52,900
 Oh, no, my daughter
is not gonna grow up
to be a thief.

417
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,400
 We're gonna get
  to the bottom of this.

418
00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:55,800
 I still got one
 good arm left.

419
00:16:55,900 --> 00:16:56,800
No, no, no.

420
00:16:58,300 --> 00:16:59,300
I'll talk to her.

421
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,000
You just get some rest.

422
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:02,300
 Okay.

423
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:03,600
Thank you, baby.

424
00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:07,400
<i>My father hated to think</i>
  <i>that Tonya had stolen again,</i>

425
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:10,600
<i>but he also hated</i>
   <i>being short $2.50.</i>

426
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:11,500
Tonya,

427
00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:14,300
did you roll those quarters
  like I told you to?

428
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:15,500
Yeah. Why?

429
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:16,800
When I went to the bank,

430
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,000
every one of those rolls
 was a quarter short.

431
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,100
What happened to the rest
 of my money?

432
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:23,600
Well, I took one quarter
   out of each roll.

433
00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:26,000
You didn't think anybody
 wouldn't notice that?

434
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,600
What did you do
with the money, Tonya?

435
00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:35,300
  Well, I was trying to save
to make you
   another roll.

436
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:38,000
Save for another roll?

437
00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:39,100
Yeah.

438
00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:41,300
You didn't think I was
 stealing from you, did you?

439
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,100
No, of course not.

440
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:44,400
Well, that's what
 it sounds like to me.

441
00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:46,300
  No, no, that's not
 what it sounds like.

442
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,000
  I'm just saying...
Huh?!

443
00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:50,800
Look, your mother,
she needs some help

444
00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:53,300
Look, here, take that
and buy some candy
or something, okay?

445
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:54,800
  No, Daddy,
you keep it.

446
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,200
Coming, baby!
Coming!

447
00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:03,000
Oh, I'm gonna miss him!

448
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:04,600
But you know what?

449
00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:06,600
He had a good life.

450
00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:10,400
Yeah, sounds like
you two got along.

451
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,500
Oh, no, he was
  a pain in the ass.

452
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:24,100
But  was <i>my</i> pain
in the ass.

453
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:25,800
Yeah

454
00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:29,800
Young man,
can I tell you something?

455
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:31,200
What's that?

456
00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:38,100
This is the best
I've felt in days.

457
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:39,500
Thank you.

458
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:40,800
 You're welcome.

459
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:41,900
Come on.

460
00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:44,600
I know there's someplace
you got to be.

461
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,000
<i>There was someplace</i>
    <i>I</i> wanted <i>to be,</i>

462
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,300
 <i>but I was right where</i>
    <i>I</i> needed <i>to be.</i>

463
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,800
  Hey, what happened?
Where were you?

464
00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:06,000
I can't believe you missed it.

465
00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:07,600
Got tied up at the funeral home.

466
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:10,600
  I told you that scholarship
 thing was a bad idea.

467
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,600
It's all right.
   I'll catch 'em next time.

468
00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:15,600
  Next time?
  There won't be a next time.

469
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:16,700
  It was incredible.

470
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:20,200
 It was Aerosmith and Run-DMC
   singing "Walk This Way."

471
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:21,400
  I couldn't believe it, man.

472
00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:23,500
<i>When I saw someone in distress,</i>

473
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:24,900
<i>I gave comfort.</i>

474
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,600
 <i>Greg had a different approach.</i>

475
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,700
<i>But my mother pretending</i>
   <i>to have a pain in her arm</i>

476
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,200
  <i>was becoming a real</i>
   <i>pain in the neck.</i>

477
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,800
Mom

478
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:46,500
Okay, okay, I'm fine!

479
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:50,000
I'm up, okay?!
  Are you happy now?!

480
00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:53,700
I mean, what does a woman
  have to do
to get some rest around here,

481
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:54,800
get shot?!

482
00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:58,100
<i>I thought the BFD scholarship</i>
    <i>was gonna be easy money,</i>

483
00:19:58,200 --> 00:19:59,800
 <i>but I was dead wrong.</i>

484
00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:01,700
 <i>At least I was finally</i>
   <i>about to get paid.</i>

485
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:02,500
 Here you go.

486
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:06,700
A voucher for $250
worth of books.

487
00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:07,800
<i>Books?</i>

488
00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:08,900
Books?

489
00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:10,000
Books?

490
00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:12,100
Well, you didn't think
you were getting cash, did you?

491
00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:14,200
Good night.

492
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:15,200
<i>Tragic.</i>

493
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,200
 You owe me a hundred dollars.

494
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,100
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